Jet Lag
by thejedistarfiregrayson
Summary: The Titans decide to take a trip and to get there they will take a normal airplane like normal people.Butwith the titans, nothing ever goes normally. Can they survive the long plane ride or will they go crazy?
1. Default Chapter

Howdy everyone! I've wanted to write this story for a while, it's chapter humor story about the Titan's on an airplane. Not their airplanes mind you, but a public one at an airport. I think you'll like it so please read, enjoy, and review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans but if I did Robin would be mine all mine! MWA HA HA!…. Uhm erm sorry for that weird moment…

On with the show….

_**Jet Lag**_

**_Chapter one _**

It was a sunny afternoon at Titans tower and all the Titans were in the main room lazing about. Cyborg was reading a book entitled _the care and keeping of your car_. Raven was meditating in the corner. Starfire was working on a jigsaw puzzle of a Unicorn. Beastboy was playing a video game called _Tofu Attacks._ Lastly Robin was flipping through… a travel magazine.

"Hey guys, I've been thinking. How about we take a trip!" Robin exclaimed. Everyone looked up at him and then went back to what they were doing.

"C'mon! We can go to Australia!" Robin exclaimed. Secretly it had been his lifelong dream to visit Australia. He secretly loved Kangaroo's and had worshipped them since he was 5. No one, however, paid any attention to Robin. It was time for drastic measures.

"Hey Star, In Australia they have Kangaroos!" Robin said, knowing Starfire liked cute animals

"That's nice friend Robin" Starfire answered trying to find a puzzle piece that connected to the unicorn's horn.

It was time for drastic measures "And even better Star, they have a whole amusement park called Unicorn Palooza" Robin whispered in her ear. She smiled

"Please Robin, when are we leaving for this wonderful Australia place?" Starfire asked

Robin smiled "soon, very soon" …

1 hour and many hardships later Robin had finally convinced every Titan to go. He had coaxed Beastboy with the tale of the wonderful restaurant in Sydney that only served Tofu. He convinced Cyborg with the fact that in Australia there was a huge Robot museum. And lastly the hardest he had threatened Raven that if she didn't come he would give Beastboy sugar to make him high and then lock her and Beastboy in a closet for hours.

"Alright man, I'll get the T plane ready to go!" Cyborg said

"NO! On this trip we're taking a _regular_ airplane at a _regular_ airport like _normal_ people do" Robin said

Raven rolled her eyes "Well won't this be fun?" She said sarcastically

**_At The Airport_**

"Dude I haven't been in an airport since…like forever!" Beastboy said as they went through the doors, suitcases in hand.

"Please what is that?" Starfire asked pointing to the moving walkway

"Oh that-" Robin started but was interrupted

"That Starfire is the moving walkway, a commercially contrived gimmick for lazy people who can't walk ten feet for themselves" Raven said (AN: For those of you who still don't know what a moving walkway is it is a pretty stupid thing that is in a lot of airports that you just step on and it pulls you along really slowly)

"DUDE I LOVE THE MOVING WALKWAY!" Beastboy exclaimed running up to it and standing on it, letting it take him along

"YEAH! BOO YA!" Cyborg exclaimed jumping onto the moving walkway and slapping hands with Beastboy

"I am surrounded by total idiots," Raven stated stepping on the moving walkway and crossing her arms. Starfire cautiously placed one foot on the strange walkway that pulled people along. Then she put the other on. She cringed, expecting something bad to happen. A moment later she opened her eyes and realized she was being pulled along,

"Joyous! This is most wonderful!" Starfire exclaimed clapping

Robin shrugged "It goes so slow though. How about we just get off and walk by ourselves" HE suggested

Beastboy, Cyborg, and Starfire shot him death glares

"Or not heh heh" Robin said nervously

2 Hours later… 

"Can we get off this stupid thing NOW?" Robin asked

"NO way dude, I think we're coming to the end of the hallway!" Beastboy exclaimed

Sure enough an electronic voice said "Caution: The moving walkway is ending"

"Thank the heavens" Raven said

They were only a few feet away from then end…

"Caution: The moving walkway is ending" The voice chimed again

"We know" Robin said annoyed

"Caution: the moving walkway is ending"

"OKAY WE KNOW THAT THE STUPID WALKWAY IN ENDING!" Robin yelled. Every one turned ad stared at him. All the Titans stepped off of the walkway and headed down another hall.

"Caution: The moving walkway is ending" Could still be heard. Robin clenched his fists

This time another electronic voice could be heard "Please don't give your baggage to a stranger. Thank you"

"Who in their right minds would give a stranger their bags?" Beastboy asked

A minute later some guy in his twenties came up to Beastboy "Hey your suitcase has animals on it! Cool! Can I have it?" The guy asked

"Sure!" Beastboy exclaimed handing his suitcase to the stranger

Robin shook his head "This is going to be a loooong day"

**To be continued….**

**All right everyone what did you think of the first chapter? I promise it will get better. Please review and I'll have chapter 2 up soon!**


	2. chapter 2

Howdy y'all! I randomly feel like doing review responses so here ya go:

**Bbslilangel: **Thanks for reviewing!

**Ttitansfan:** Yes they are very slow where I live! The moving walkway at Reagan National Airport goes slower than an old lady-literally! There was this old lady walking along side of the moving walkway when I was riding the walkway and she was going faster! Anyways thanks for reviewing!

**StarfireFowl:** Thanks for reviewing!

**Legnalos:** Thanks for reviewing!

Well that is everyone; if I missed anyone I am sorry!

Disclaimer: Well I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I named my nickel Phillip. The bad news is it's a girl nickel and now it has a boy name! And for more bad news I don't own Teen Titans!

On with the show…

**Jet Lag**

**Chapter 2**

Robin looked at his watch "Well guys we still have about three hours to our flights take off, how about we just chill?" Robin said

"NO way dude! The 'as seen on TV' store is over there!" Beastboy said as he ran to the commercially contrived shop, Cyborg right behind him.

"Please, what is this store of the things seen on the television?" Starfire asked

"Well star that is-"

"Starfire that is a commercially contrived shop full of useless items that they advertise on TV that don't work" Raven said

Meanwhile at the as seen on TV store… 

"Dude Cyborg check this out!" Beastboy said. Cyborg came running over

"That? That's a hair beader…"

"So? I wanna try it!" Beastboy took the hair beader and to a strand of his hair into it and pressed the button. It started beading the strand of hair at the speed of light, however since Beastboy didn't have much hair it just yanked his hair out leaving a big bald spot on the side of his head.

"Cyborg cringed "Well that looked like it hurt"

Beastboy shook his head and smiled "It was FUN! I wanna try it again!"…

Back at the airport lobby 

Having nothing better to do Raven decided to head over to the small coffee shop, leaving Robin and Starfire alone. They were sitting on a bench in front of an airport TV that was automatically set to some cheesy soap opera.

"Oh Lance, even though you are still in love with my evil reincarnated half sister I still love you!" The cheesy soap opera girl said

"Oh Rebecca It is quiet tragic, your evil reincarnated half sister got run over by a truck that was being driven by your equally evil reincarnated half brother!" The cheesy soap opera guy Lance said

"Oh Lance that is tragic!" The cheesy soap opera Rebecca said. Suddenly Lance and Rebecca started to make out.

"Robin ca you please explain to me why those two people are shoving their tongues into the others mouth?" Starfire asked

Robin turned red "Uhm well you see Star, uhm…they are kissing because uhm…. they want to…I guess"

"This kissing sounds most pleasant! Might we try?"

"Uhm well-" It was too late for Robin to fight back because she had already pushed his mouth onto his and they started kissing, or making out rather.

"Well that's just disturbing" Raven said, watching Robin pull himself on top of Starfire to further make out with her.

"Dude that's sick! And not in the good way" Beastboy said as he and Cyborg emerged from the TV store

"Yeah. Uhm why are you bald Beastboy?" Raven asked

"He got into a fight with the hair beader" Cyborg said

Beastboy nodded "don't ask"

Suddenly a guy from the as seen on TV store came running out "Here sir, I forgot to offer you a sample of our magic hair regrower!"

"Sweet!" Beastboy said pouring some on his head. All his hair grew back "Awesome! I'll take twenty!"

"Thank you sir! And remember you saw it first on TV!" The as seen on TV store guy said as Beastboy paid him for the bottles.

By this time Robin and Starfire had stopped. Robin wore a stupid half dazed grin on his face "That was fun"

Starfire nodded, an equally half dazed smile on her face "Yes that was _most enjoyable_"

"Are you two done now? Can we like, I don't know, maybe get on the stupid plane now so we can get this stupid trip over with?" Raven asked

"Yeah let's go " Robin said grabbing Starfire's hand and walking towards the baggage check place.

At the baggage check place 

"Please place your bags on the bag scanner and step through the scanner. Thank you" An old man said in monotone.

Robin placed his bag on the bag check and walked through the scanner "Thank you sir. Please step off to the side" Said the old man

Starfire placed her bags on the scanner and walked through "Thank you miss. Please step off to the side"

Being left alone off to the side for a minute Robin and Starfire started to make out once more

"That is not proper airport conduct you little hooligans!" The old man said hitting Robin on the back of the head with his cane

"Oww! Fine we'll stop, just don't hit me with your cane again old dude" Robin said wrapping his arms around Starfire

Beastboy placed the one bag he hadn't given to the stranger on the bag scanner and stepped through the scanner. Alarms went off.

"It seems you have a weapon of mass destruction in your bag! Please step aside!" Said the old man, ripping Beastboy's suitcase open and rifling through it.

"Behold! I have found the weapon!" The old man said holding up a pair of scissors that had been in Beastboy's bag

"Uhm dude how is scissors a weapon of mass destruction?" Beastboy asked

"You could stab someone with it!"

"But they're _safety scissors!_" Beastboy argued

"You didn't let me finish! You could make little paper doilies with them and threaten the citizens! Now step aside little hooligan," The old man said. Beastboy went over to where Robin and Starfire were standing and crossed his arms "I want my scissors back" Beastboy pouted

"I want the right to make out with my girlfriend back," Robin pouted

"And I want you little hooligans to stop your yammering and be quiet!" The old man said

Raven rolled her eyes and placed her bag onto the bag checker and stepped through the scanner.

"Very good Madame, however you have been selected for a random search! Please step aside so Jake can scan you. Oh Jake!" The old man called. A guy of about twenty stepped out

"Hi. I'm Jake, and I work for the airport. I am going to conduct a random scan of you. Please step into the enclosed room" Jake said pointing

"Well won't this be fun?" Raven said sarcastically rolling her eyes and stepping into the room. Jake shut the door.

"Okay see this scanner? I'm going to do a random scan and pat down just to make sure you don't have any weapons" Jake said scanning one side of Raven and patting down the other side. His hand found it's way to an odd place, yet he didn't remove it.

"If I were you I would stop this stupid search RIGHT NOW!" Raven yelled, her eyes glowing black

"Well okay I'll stop, you're fine, and have a nice day!" Jake said nervously running away

Raven walked back to where everyone was standing. Cyborg placed his bag on the checker and walked through the scanner

"It says you have a weapon! In your arm!" The old man said as alarms went off

"Well yeah, I'm a super hero and it's built in. Don't worry I won't use it on anyone" Cyborg said

"I'm sorry sir but you're going to have to remove your arm" The old man said

Cyborg sighed and pulled of the mechanical arm "Here"

"Thank you! You little youngsters are free to go!" The old man exclaimed

"This is going to be a long day," All five Titans said in unison, walking towards the ticket check

To be continued…

Well that was chapter 5 y'all! Please review and I'll try to get chapter three up soon!


	3. Chapter 3

Hi guys! Sorry about the long wait, I was having computer problems. Anyways, here is chapter 3 of this increasingly random story. Thanks for the reviews, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, but wouldn't you be afraid if I did?

On with the show….

**Jet Lag**

**Chapter 3**

Finally past airport security, the Titans walked into the waiting area to…..wait, of course, for their plane. There were a few restaurants, boutiques, and….

"CAKE STORE!" Beastboy exclaimed, dropping his last remaining piece of luggage on the floor and darting towards Cakes R Us.

"Wow, animal luggage." a guy said, taking Beastboy's last remaining suitcase.

Cyborg looked around, and then his favorite store caught his eye "SHARPER IMAGE!" he exclaimed, darting off

"Please friends, what is this image that is sharp?"

"Well Star it's-"

"It's a commercially contrived store featuring fancy objects that no one can afford, making the population feel bad about themselves and wallow in self pity" Raven said, interrupting Robin.

"Is everything commercially contrived to you?" Robin asked

"UNICORNS!" Starfire exclaimed, zooming off towards a plushie store.

"This is stupid" Raven muttered

A boy with dark hair and black clothes came up to her "Everything is stupid. Want to go talk about it?" he said

"Sure" Raven said, following him to a corner of the terminal.

"Oh, oh that's fine. My whole team abandons me. Thanks guys. THANKS A LOT" Robin shouted in anger, throwing his hands up.

A little boy who was walking shuddered and grabbed his teddy bear and hid behind his mother "Mommy, that man's crazy"

"Yes honey, let's stay away from the crazy man" she said, grabbing the boys' hand.

"Attention" a loud voice boomed over the intercom "flight 1138 is boarding. Please have your tickets ready"

In a flash Beastboy, Cyborg, and Starfire zoomed back.

"Look, it's a mini robot!" Cyborg said, holding out a small, smiling little device

"Unicorn! Tee hee!" Starfire exclaimed, whirling around and hugging her unicorn plushie

"Cake" Beastboy said, mouth full.

"Okay, so where's Raven?" Robin asked

"I believe I saw her head in that direction" Starfire said, pointing to a corner. The team ran over; only find Raven and her new friend making out.

Cyborg slapped his forehead with one hand that remained attached to his arm "can we please just board the stupid plane?"….

**10 minutes later at the ticket place where you give the nice lady or man your boarding pass and they give you a bright cheery smile and then you board, unless you're a terrorist in which they will (hopefully) arrest you on the spot-**

The Titans, being minors and all that, had to be asked their age upon boarding the flight, as to be sure it was them and they had not been kidnapped and gotten their plane ticket stolen.

"How old are you young lady?" The ticket guy said to Raven

"15"

"Thank you, you may board"

"Whatever"

"How old are you young man?" The said, this time to Cyborg

"17"

"You may board"

"cool"

"How old are you?" The man said, to Starfire. Starfire, however, was otherwise occupied by making out with Robin

"Uhm, young lady…"

Starfire broke away and blushed "Oh, heh, sorry. 16"

"You may board."

He asked the same thing to Robin (but instead of young lady he said young man, of course) in which Robin replied the same way, since he was the same age. It was Beastboy's turn.

"How old are you young man?"

"Uhm….11"

Immediately a squad of airport security came over "You're under arrest! It says on this ticket that you're 13"

"I am? Dude! Wow, I forgot that…"

"You have the right to remain silent!" they said, sticking a gun next to his head

"Does that mean I have the right to talk?"

"Uhm….."

Raven came over, pushed through the security, and grabbed Beastboy by the collar "excuse him, he's stupid, he forgets things a lot. I can vouch for him" She said, pulling him onto the airplane

"Wow! Thanks Rae! You really saved-hey! Stupid? I'm not stupid!"

**To be continued…..**

**Review please! See, I asked nicely! **


	4. Chapter 4

Howdy y'all, thanks for all the reviews, here is a basically pointless chapter, but this whole story is kind of pointless and that is kind of the point of the pointless story. Moving on…

Note: I may be upping the rating of this story to T, formerly known as the PG-13 rating. You'd think with all the randomness in this story I would've done so already but…

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, but I highly doubt you'd want me to, anyways.

On with the show…

**Jet Lag**

**Chapter 4**

**On the plane**

"Alright y'all let's see where our seats are" Cyborg said, grabbing everyone's ticket, "Well, looks like we all have seats together except…"

"You mean we will not all be together?" Starfire said, dreading the thought of not sitting next to Robin and making out with him for the entire flight.

"Nah, just Raven" Cyborg said, "Her seat is all the way in the waaay back of the plane, next to that adorable little girl right there"

Raven picked up her bag and started walking "Peachy"

"Alright, now Robin and Starfire are over on that side of the aisle, and me and BB are here" Cyborg said, using his one arm to put his baggage in the over head compartment.

Robin picked up his bag "Overhead compartment? No problem for the all powerful Robin" He said. He jumped up and fell two inches short of reaching the compartment.

"Are you in need of assistance, Boyfriend Robin?" Starfire asked, easily putting her bag in.

"No way, Star. I'm a manly man, and manly men don't accept help from beautiful girls who they're trying to impress with their manly strength" Robin said as he struggled to reach the compartment.

**Meanwhile, where Raven is sitting in the terrible seat in the back of the plane with a five year old girl-**

Raven levitated her back into the overhead compartment and sat down. The little girl who had the seat next to her faced her and smiled "HI! My name is Suzy, what's your name?" Suzy asked. Suzy was wearing a My Little Pony T-shirt and a little pink skirt. Her blonde hair was in braids and her face was splattered with freckles.

Raven crossed her arms and muttered "Raven"

"Raven? That's a pretty name! That's the name of that girl on Disney channel with the funny show! She's my idol! Are you her?"

"Do I _look _like her?" Raven said

"Uhm, not really, but-"

"Do I look like the type of person who would have a funny show?"

"Not really"

"Yeah, I'm not the same person as that girl on Disney Channel"

"Are you sure?" Suzy asked

"Oh, I'm sure" Raven said, rolling her eyes

"Are you positive?"

"Positive"

"Really?"

"Really really"

It was going to be a long day….

**Back at the seats in the middle of the plane where the rest of the Titans are…**

A minute later the flight attendant's voice came over the loud speaker and said that everyone needed to buckle their seatbelts. By then Robin, after much strife and anguish, had managed to get his bag in the overhead compartment and still retain his Manly ego.

Starfire promptly and easily fastened her seatbelt. Robin, however, could not figure out the intricate workings of the in-flight seatbelt.

Starfire saw him struggling "Need help, boyfriend Robin?"

"No thanks Star, I'll get it" Robin said, struggling.

Starfire leaned back and crossed her arms "stupid Testosterone and manly egos" She grumbled

The lady behind her stuck her head out in the aisle. Her husband was struggling with his seatbelt and refused help as well. "I hear ya, girl. I hear ya" She said.

Ten minutes later Robin gave up "okay Star, help me"

Starfire smiled and clapped and grabbed his seatbelt and reached over to buckle it, her shoulder brushing up against… "AH! Sorry Boyfriend Robin!" Starfire said quickly, fastening his seatbelt and sitting straight in her seat.

Robin was as pale as a ghost.

A few minutes later his look of ghost-ness changed into a huge smile "Oh, no that's okay Starfire. That was really, really okay."

**Meanwhile, back with Raven who, at this point, seems to have a better seat then the lot of them because they just had to see that, except for Robin, who's manly ego has just been increased tenfold by an extremely embarrassing mishap which you just read about and I have no idea why I'm repeating it…**

A few minutes later Raven felt a tug at her cape "Raven?" Suzy asked

Raven rolled her eyes "What?"

"Help me buckle my seatbelt, please?" Suzy asked

"Why should I?" Raven asked as she started to flip through the Sky Mall magazine.

Suzy tried the puppy-dog pout. It didn't faze Raven a smidge.

"That doesn't work on me" Raven said

"Hmm…how about, if you don't help me I'll ask the flight attendant to play the My Little Pony movie" Suzy said, taking out her My Little Pony tape.

"Yeah, like they'll actually-"

"Oh, flight attendant!" Suzy said, pressing the Assistance button 10 times.

"Fine, you win" Raven said, fastening the girl's seatbelt.

"YAAAY!" Suzy exclaimed.

Did I mention it was going to be a long day?

**To be continued….**

Please review! In fact, here is my lovely review poem that I used in the latest chapter of my story The Pendant:

**Reviews:**

**R is for review quick!**

**E is elementary my dear reviewer**

**V is for Vendetta, a movie with Natalie Portman which has nothing to do with this poem!**

**I is for I love reviews!**

**E is for Elated, reviews would make me very elated**

**W is for Woot! This poem is over now go review!**

Doesn't that make you want to review real badly?


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